I attend Shabbos morning services more often than not, and considering that I am 25 years old, that makes me really…well…weird. And when you consider that I am not Ultra-Orthodox, or even Modern Orthodox, that makes me a rarity. It’s not that I don’t believe or find spiritual meaning in our traditional theology. In fact, I find great meaning. And it seems I’m not alone. Christian or Jewish, much of my generation seems to want the same thing. In an op-ed for CNN, Rachel Held Evans, a Christian observer and columnist wrote: “What millennials really want from the church is not a change in style but a change in substance.” And while I obviously do not attend church, the message is abundantly true to me. The older generations, those currently in leadership roles in the “liberal” (as in non-Orthodox) movements, know something is wrong. Emily Goldberg, a young woman who is just now preparing to enter Muhlenberg College as a Freshman, writes: “‘The Conservative movement is dying!’ I have heard so many adults say this with concerned looks on their faces that it no longer fazes me. In fact, I’ve begun to understand why they’re worried. As I look inside Conservative synagogues today, I see a deficit of young people. Instead, I witness older generations who seem to spend most of their time arguing over the rules and regulations that should govern our congregational life.”
And the thing is that she’s right. Of course, despite her wise observations, the USCJ has certainly formed many committees, likely made up mostly of people from those currently leading (i.e. older) generations, to discuss these issues. And therein lies the real problem. My generation wants active participants, those who live their words everyday. But liberal Judaism is no longer about action, it’s about discussions and ideas and openness and nothing more than talking. Now, let me assure you that I like discussions and ideas and openness, but none of those things are going to make me want to join you. Because I don’t have to join you.
I can have discussions with friends and family about religion, I can use tools like this blog and social networking sites to output ideas, and I already live in a localized environment where men and women, gay and straight, black and white, are treated equally. I’m glad our liberal synagogues espouse egalitarian principles, but to my generation, that’s not anything we would not expect (from a liberal synagogue, anyway). Therefore, this isn’t something you can sell us on, we don’t have to join you.
To sound entirely cliché, today’s leadership does not understand the younger generations. With limitless tools at your disposal, you barely know how to speak to us. Facebook, twitter, etc., etc., etc. etc. These are only means to an end. If every successful corporation and even Pope Francis can attract interest from across the world using these tools, why can’t you? Where is the library of divrei torah videos? Where are the inspiring tweets? You don’t even seem to know where we live and work. Where are the groups, organized through the USCJ, looking to get young professionals involved in their local Jewish communities? They don’t exist – at least I’ve never heard of them. Even your “young adult outreach” web page is blank. A clear sign that to anyone looking that there’s nothing for us. All I can find is Taglit – a great program but not exactly anything unique to the USCJ – and synagogue micro-loans – which aren’t even for young adults, but for getting young adults into synagogues. Clearly, you won’t put any effort towards actually getting us involved in your synagogues, and we don’t have to join you.
Offer us real opportunities. You do not have any idea how miserable it is, walking into a synagogue, and being salivated-over by an entire congregation at least 40 years your senior. I am sorry you had to have surgery, Mrs. Goldman, but I real don’t want to stay for Kiddush because that’s going to be the gist of conversation at lunch. If I want to have lunch with people of your generation, I’m sure my parents would love it if I stopped by. Therefore, lunch is not an opportunity. Offer us the opportunity to meet people our age, and real and frequent opportunities to help in our communities (the ones we actually live in). We’re going to do it anyway. But, if we do it through you, then we’ll have reason to stay with the USCJ. Oh, and please consider offering these opportunities where we live. Chances are that we don’t live in your exceptionally wealthy suburb, and we’re certainly not going to drive out to your big suburban campus with no public transportation accessibility – that is, if we even have a car to begin with – to be part of your synagogue. If you want us, you have to come to us. We live in the cities. We live in apartments. We may not have the money to pay dues – and honestly, we’re not going to pay for your over-sized building way out there anyway – but we have time and energy and charisma, and if you do what any successful business would do, and reach out to your next generation of consumers, we’ll give all we’ve got to make your synagogue, your community, that you care for so deeply, successful for years to come. Then again, we don’t have to join you.
marc dreyfuss 